Vedui' mellonea ar'gothrimamin,

This week I have prepared a special treat for you all. Wandering about the realms I have heard many words that are overused by silly humans and demons from various guilds, sanctioned and non-sanctioned, that shall remain nameless (or mostly nameless) -mischievous grin-. Below is a list of the words that I have carefully selected for ridicule in the order of their idiocy and overuse.

10. BAKkers - This Elf still has yet to learn the true meaning behind this mysterious phrase. I hear it used often among the members of NOR, ABK, LOK, and the like.

Ex: "Bakkers!! My mom made me get off while she made a phone call."

9. Hook - Often used by new players who want to grab the leg of a seasoned adventurer so that they might hitch a ride to Vilnask.

Ex: "I want magic stuff (see below)!!! Can I hook???"

8. Hack - Sounding similar to the previous term, its meaning is drastically different. This word is shouted frequently by young adventurers after their own errant fireball lands squarely on them instead of the pesky ITB standing nearby. This word is also used in reference to a previously existing nonsanctioned guild who recently lost their posting board for unknown reasons.

Ex: "I wanted that fireball to hit you!! You're a hack! You're a hack!"

7. Stuff - Listening to the use of this word throughout the realms, I have not once heard it used constructively. One indirect cause of this lack of creativity may be the fact that all beings I have encountered who use the word "stuff" have several numbers tattooed on their foreheads. This, I have learned, is a sign of what the politically correct call "slow learners."

Ex: "Can you take me to the warehouse district? There's supposed to be kewl (see below) stuff there!"

6. Kewl (cool, cewl, and all variations) - This is both an expletive and an adjective used by a large group of humans that generally lurk around Neverwinter Square and the vault area. They tend to have low brows and a vacuous look in their eyes. In addition, small flecks of spittle may be dried to their chin and small insects may buzz about their heads.

Ex: "Yeah.... I just got a battle axe +1. Pretty kewl, huh?"

5. Jerk - This word is a puzzle. I have heard it used as a noun and verb, and the meanings change depending on the context in which it is used. As a noun, it results in the same net effect of the word "wuss"(see below). As a verb, it can mean to pull quickly on something, such as a drawstring to a pouch, or other things that are more appropriate to discuss in the KAAOS Hell Hole.

Ex: (n) "You stupid (see below) jerk!" (note the use of the word "stupid" in the same fashion as it is used below)

(v) "Stop jerking me around! (This, the figurative use, is shouted by new adventurers when being conned by a Spirit Lurker.)

4. Hail - The first word of greeting that a young child utters excitedly to the passing folk in town. Unfortunately, many members of ABK never grow out of this stage and thus retain the primitive salutation. It is also very popular among those of NOR, but the "hail" is usually accompanied by a myriad of bizarre symbols.

Ex: "Hail /*/NOR!!!****///***"

3. Stupid - One of the most lackluster derogatory adjectives that exists in the common tongue. It is usually used in conjunction with "wuss"(see below) and is tossed at someone with the intent of insulting their intelligence, though the irony in the use of this word is astounding.

Ex: (see below)

2. Wuss - The most popular insult used by newly inducted members of any PvP guild. You can hear members of KAAOS, ITB, and MECH throwing around words #3 and 2 just about any evening you encounter them in a state of revelry.

Collective Ex: "You stupid wuss!" (While this example seems brief, it is often the extent of a new PvPer's arsenal of negative endearments)

1. Newb (newbie, newB, and all variations) - This word is perhaps the most overused of any that this Elf has heard in his lifetime. It is used by both the young and old, the sanctioned and nonsanctioned, the humans and the rest. However, there is one thing that all users of the word "newb" have in common. They all deserve a good horsewhipping for lack of verbal imagination! So, if you hear anyone using the word "newb," be it in public or private, give them a kick in the pants and tell them Tizer sent you!

Ex: "Those dern newbs are always filling up the game. I can never get in!! Help me!!!" (directly quoted from an interview with a human named PJones6358)

These pearls of wisdom I have collected for your enlightenment and enjoyment. Use them well (the pearls, not the words) and you will risk not the embarrassment of having a poor command of the common tongue.

Faithfully submitted, as always,

Tizer

The Helpful Elf