Thru the woods Von & I dashed,
An orc mage most evil we thrashed,
Found gems, gold and hatchet,
His corpse we did ratchet.
Plate mail, Von finally flashed.

Oh how that plate it did gleam!
So silvery, My! what a sheen!
It's surface did glint,
It caused me to squint,
Such radiance! Seemed like a dream.

Front & center, he stood oh so proud,
In the sky overhead not a cloud.
He pranced and he strutted,
A hart he then gutted,
Such pride in an elf's not allowed!

What did my elven eyes see?
An elf in the buff, knobby knees!
Oh Von, I'm dismayed,
For an elf, oh so staid,
In the future wear leggings will you please?