She'd been in Trinsic for a couple weeks, asking everyone she encountered if they knew or had seen him. Describing him wasn't very helpful, tall men with goatees, long black hair and dark clothing weren't exactly a rarity. Viktor Von Zeyn was an odd enough name, but no one she asked seemed to remember it. She just wanted to thank him, and apologize. But how could she do either if she couldn't even find him! Frustration had taken her to Britain one day. Gods she hated that city on Felucca. Thieves had descended on her the moment she walked over the bridge. They found nothing to steal, more then one of them cussing at her for her lack of pilferable possessions.

She was stopped outside of Castle British, barred from entering by some scruffy looking men claiming to be defenders of the long gone king. She tried explaining that she had once advised the missing king. That she only wanted to wander in the throne room but they wouldn't listen and she wasn't allowed to enter. She was forced to reminisce from outside the gates. Long ago, Viktor had been there, even though he didn't believe in her cause. He had come to watch her accept her oath of office along with the rest of the Council. Closing her eyes, she could see him standing on the gallery above them, lurking in the shadows as he silently observed the proceedings. It seemed that he had always been there for her.

She had built her first home just outside of Trinsic, barely a blink away from the moongate. It was a tiny little house, but she was so proud of it. It was gone now, she had gone to look for it, but there was nothing left, even the fairy ring was gone, long dead from the rot. But she could still see him looming in her doorway, holding the pillow he had bought her. Gods, when had it gone so wrong.

Now, wandering a deserted Trinsic, she almost missed the fighting and shouting. The angry men trying to suppress the darkness threatening to overwhelm the sandstone streets. And through it all, she had watched, and he had been there. She had been so young, so stupid. She had never been able to accept what he did, what he fought for and believed in. She had been so biased, so blind. Even when she had moved home, back to her beloved Yew, he had followed her. But she just drove him away. By then she had met Ethan, a much more appropriate mate for someone with the plans she had for herself.

That thought made her laugh, now. All her plans were gone, destroyed the day Ethan left. No, she admonished herself, destroyed the day she tossed aside the one who loved her in spite of who she was, not because of what she did. She wanted to apologize. To try and explain herself to him. And maybe, just maybe, find some peace in the life she's been left with.

She knew their lives had diverged too far to ever recover what might have been. But she wanted the chance to tell him... if she had it to do all over again, her choices would be different.